the eulogy

my yeh-yeh standing in front of his restaurant, King Tin, in Chinatown which he opened decades ago. i remember frequently visiting him there and thinking he was extra awesome for owning his own restaurant. plus look at the way he stands, all happy and badass! i love this picture of him.

years down the line, i am positive that i'm going to want to remember what i said at my grandfather's funeral. nervous, with hands shaking, i read the eulogy. i was afraid my lip was going to quiver like Elvis', much like it always had any time i had to speak publicly. but this time that didn't happen. instead, at some point, with tear filled eyes,  i threw my hands up and proclaimed that i couldn't even read the words anymore because everything was blurred. but eventually the collection of tears dropped and fell upon the page and i could make out the rest of the words well enough to finish. and this is what i said for my grandpa:

i always knew i had a cool grandpa. he was often dressed in a blazer, a hat and sunglasses. his clothes always matched and he walked through every door with confidence. whenever we'd enter any chinese restaurant, immediately somebody would recognize him and greet him. it seems we never had to wait more than five minutes for a table because EVERY time we ate out more than likely the matre'd or a chef was his friend. and once we were sat, someone dining at the restaurant would see him and come to chat for a moment. to me it seemed my grandpa was popular. he was always cool, calm, collected and respected. and i don't think anybody can argue the fact that yeh-yeh was a generous man as well. whenever we went out for dim sum he would always order extra dishes to take to his friends for their mah jong games. and it was evident to me that he almost always paid for dinner when dining with friends. he treated everybody equally. during Chinese New Year, it didn't matter whether you cooked him dinner or just smiled at him. you instantly got a red envelope. he was always considerate and thoughtful towards the people he loved. once he heard that i liked jelly fish, jelly fish would appear at every dinner.  he made sure that if there was an extra bowl of shark fin soup, i would get it because it was my favorite. sometimes he would joke and tell my brother that he should take his grandpa out for dim sum or pay for dinner that night. he was only trying to instill good values in his grandson and make sure that we knew to respect and value our elders. he always cracked jokes and had a way about him that made everybody like him. 

years ago during a family function yeh-yeh had to go to the emergency room and for the first time in my life i saw the hint of tears in my dad's eyes. in that moment i realized that there was a bond between the two of them that i'd never noticed. then every time i saw the two of them together i started to see the similarities between them. their generosity, their humor, their ability to always seem calm and easy going. my mom has always said that i am very much like my dad and if that's true, then i must also be very much like my yeh-yeh. and if i'm anything like my yeh-yeh then i feel honored. he was a man who surrounded himself with friends and family and valued anybody who crossed paths with him. he's always tried to instill good family values in myself, my brother and my cousins. for years i've watched my mom, dad, aunts and uncles take their dad out to dinner or dim sum every sunday not because they had to but because they wanted to. he built a family who respected him. before his health began depleting, he always had a smile on. but more than anything, he was always a truly genuine person. 

unfortunately our time with him has ended but our memories are forever. a few weeks ago he had said that he was ready to be with grandma. before she had passed, they were inseparable so i am sure that he is happy to reunite with her. may they rest in peace together. 

this is the last picture i have with my grandpa. it was taken at his last birthday dinner. i'm not sure what he's doing with his hand there. but like i said in the eulogy....hat. sunglasses. blazer. smile. sharp as ever!