Timing is everything

Timing is everything. and to me Timing has been a motherf*cking bitch. if you can't tell, i'm a little more than pissed at Timing. she has not been kind to me lately and i'm quite upset at the possibilities that could have been had Timing had her shit together. we haven't been getting along very well and i can't help but put some blame on her.

though to be fair, i have to say that in most aspects of my life Timing has actually been on my side. so i can't 100% be mad at Timing. it just seems she's been moody with me for a few years. plus, it's not actually everything. Timing weighs heavy in some cases but everything is also situational. and if you want to get philosophical, some say Time is an illusion anyway. 

who's to say? at the end of the day (there Time is again) and the journey through life, all things fall into place just the way they were meant to. "if it's not okay, it's not the end," right? right. 

what i value the most

everybody has their own worth value system and it's based on what makes their world go 'round. attaining what in life holds most importance to each person equates to what makes their life feel complete. for some people it's their health, for others it's meeting career goals, for some it's perfecting their appearance, and for another it's reaching a certain status. of course no one single thing could make anybody's life complete, but i'm here to talk about what is at the very top of my value system.

sure, i need security and stability in that i have adequate shelter, food and protection. i prefer these things to be  substantial, but i wouldn't falter too much in life if i have just the bare necessities. yes, i'd love to be able to take vacations and enjoy some of the finer things in life. those things certainly enhance the pleasurable side of life. true, having a job that feels fulfilling and meaningful in the scheme of the world makes me feel like i have a positive purpose in this lifetime. but what really matters most to me at the end of every day is that the people i care about know that i care about them and that i know the feeling is mutual.

for me to feel good about the person that i am, at the tip top of my hypothetical list of Things I Need To Achieve In Life, #1 is that the people i care about know i care about them and i know that they care about me just the same. this is of utmost importance to my world. this makes my world go 'round. if the people who i truly value in my life don't know that i care deeply about them, then what am i worth? if i don't share that i think these people are the greatest aspects of my life, how can i expect to be of value in theirs? friendships and any relationships (be it family, friends, lovers or partners in crime) with people are a two way street. i cannot  will not put my efforts into people who don't share a similar mindset. please do not twist my words and think that i mean that i need to be the most important person in the lives of those i care about. this is not the case. i just need to know that if i care about you, you also care about me.

i feel like i've done a decent job of this in my life so far. i'm positive that those that i really love and care about are fully aware that i feel this way about them. whether it's in outright telling them how awesome they are, keeping them in my thoughts, dropping anything to be there for them, or being a part of their support, laughter and sanity. so long as the people i surround myself with know i care and they care too, then i know my value.

AQ Restaurant

this is Kim, one of my foodie friends. her boyfriend calls me her wife because we always wine and dine (minus the wine because i don't love like the taste of alcohol) and he's always left behind. he suggests a restaurant and she vetoes it because she's already gone with me once before. whoops, sorry Kid. i can't help it if she loves me and we spend time making memories over delicious meals. he's just going to have to get used to it. i'm the other woman and that's that. and after the week that i had (will not detail, but damn was it not fun) i felt i deserved a stunning dinner with an amazing friend. we decided on AQ Restaurant because it's been on my list for quite some time now.

we each ordered a dish from each of the categories and then split everything to maximize our taste bud's pleasure. every single dish we had was more than enjoyable, which is just what i needed to get my spirits up.

summer berries, chicken liver, celery

rich, gamy and savory, cut nicely by the ripe fruits. this was very well balanced.

swordfish, chickpeas and cactus(?)

acidic, salty, refreshing. complimentary to the liver dish. best dish of the night, and that's saying a lot because the whole meal was spectacular. 

heirloom tomato, honeycomb tripe, peppers

my oh my!! six hour cooked tripe, sour peppers and acidic tomato. very nice.

okra, seared scallop, corn "hairs"

this was soooo excellently executed. perfectly cooked scallop with just the right sear. okra (which i hate because it's slimy) was charred enough so that it was bearable and the corn "hairs" added a great textural dimension. 

salmon, summer melons, truffle and white soy, turnips

there was a salmon sausage on the plate that was off putting by sight but was SO SO good by taste and texture. the filet itself was cooked perfectly and the skin  had a very hard crisp to it (just right!). i'd never pair salmon and melons but it was quite nice. 

beef sirloin, tomato, pole bean conserva, bone marrow, pimento cheese

i actually enjoyed this dish without the whole tomato aspect. just the sauce would have been nice. the beef was cooked just right and everything was complimentary. love!

two cheeses with honeycomb, walnut crostini and current compote

don't know what the cheeses were except that one was raw goat and one was pasteurized cow. doesn't really matter though. if it's cheese, i'm for it. 

grasshopper pie. coconut, bittersweet chocolate and shiso

this was a very pleasant surprise. fresh mint with a deep rich chocolate, bitter shiso crumble and macaroons. excelllllllent!

go! take someone for a special occasion! or take someone because you're hungry. you know i won't judge! 

"just because i'm losing doesn't mean i'm lost"

"just because i'm losing doesn't mean i'm lost" -Coldplay, Lost

heartache is the most terrible pain i have ever personally experienced. the physical and emotional emptiness that comes with it is something i would never wish upon anybody. i am certainly in an emotionally vulnerable place in my life and i feel like i'm losing. i feel like i'm tumbling and i can't see where the downhill ends and the flat portion of the ground will break this fall. but i know it's somewhere. i know that you can't be sad forever and that sometime somehow there will be a small light at the end of the tunnel. the closer you get, the more light you discover and eventually you don't feel like you're losing anymore.  right now that is not foreseeable, but i know that one day i'll discover that light. and because i know it exists, i cannot feel lost. right now i'm losing, but i will never be lost.

"she's too pretty to be my friend"

sitting and snacking on coconut passion fruit cake (yep, i snack on cake. so what. my internal fat kid never takes a day off.) in the close quarters of Tartine's tables, i overheard the girl at the table next to me say "she's too pretty to be my friend." now, i don't know what context she said this in because while i had somewhat eavesdropped, i wasn't intently listening to the people surrounding me's conversations. but this statement sounded louder than the rest likely because of it's content.

i would like to think that people have friends because they provide the following things: intense bouts of laughter, a back bone of support, a shoulder for crying times, a listening ear for anything you feel the need to say, goofy times, inspiration, advice, playful banter, etc. i've never sought friendship based on whether or not someone was attractive and i would never deny friendship because someone's appearance is less than average. i don't think that the way someone looks has anything to do with whether or not you could make good friends. so long as your personalities get along and you have some things in common to keep interest alive, there's a recipe for a friendship. the saying "you are known by the company you keep" is more based on morals, values and mindset, not about the way you look. though to be fair, often times you see a group of friends and that have similar fashion sense or do their makeup in a similar way. even so, the similarities are based on interest in the same clothing or winged eyeliner, not each person's inherent beauty.

when i heard this girl say "she's too pretty to be my friend" it made me feel sort of sad and almost made me pity her. those seven words imply that she thinks cannot have friends who are of a high threshold of attractiveness compared to her own mark on the attractiveness charts. in that very short statement she basically said that all of her other traits and attributes weren't good enough for someone who is overly pretty. maybe she's funny or smart or charismatic or just an all around good person, but no, she's not pretty so she can't make a good friend, right? wrong. poor girl doesn't know her own worth. and how about the friend she was sitting with? if she abides by this i-can-only-have-friends-who-are-the-same-amount-of-attractiveness rule then she clearly thinks her friend is of her same attractiveness level. if that's the case and she's not very confident in her own beauty, isn't she inadvertently saying that her friend, too, doesn't rank that high on the attractive meter, therefore cannot be friends with whoever this said "too pretty" person is?

there are far more important reasons to be someone's friend and none of them have to do with how beautiful someone is. nobody is ever too pretty to be your friend. and if someone ever thinks they're too pretty to be your friend then that just means they're internally ugly.

must have Sugar Daddy for dietary needs

i'm in need of the sweetest of Sugary Daddies. but only for six months. see, a friend of mine sent me this article about an opportunity to dine at all 109 Michelin 3 star restaurants in 6 months through a travel company, Holidaysplease. all travel includes business class and top rated hotels within twelve countries. but let's not forget about the main show: the food! even if i were staying in crap hotels and flying economy, it'd still be worth it to be able to visit all 109 restaurants having reservations set and travel plans all laid out for me. over the course of six months, every other day you indulge in the most delicately imagined and precisely executed dishes along with ace service. sounds like an opportunity of a lifetime, right? guess how much this costs! guess, i say! it comes out to be approximately $275,000 for a couple. whew, that's a lot of money. but damn, if i could just find a cavity inducing Sugar Daddy for six months, then maybe just maaaaybe i could make this happen. well to be fair i suppose we should know each other at least a little bit before embarking on the most grande foodventure to ever exist. so let's say eight months. that's enough time to know somebody and have them fall madly enough in love with you that they'd spend a quarter of a million dollars on you, right? from this moment forth i will be taking applications for a Sugar Daddy for a lease of eight months. but after our fine dining experience, all bets are off and i will be returning to my actual boyfriend, mmkay? a little bit of an indecent proposal i suppose, but this is going to be the only way i can have my cake and eat it too.

but in all seriousness, i can't actually imagine anybody doing this. so far i've only been to two Michelin 3 star restaurants (French Laundry and The Restaurant at Meadowood) and each was the epitome of an excellent experience food-wise as well as service-wise. even so, i cannot imagine dining on fancy pants food every other day for 3-4 hours each day. that just seems ridiculous and i'm positive that the novelty wears off. also, if you eat at every 3 star restaurant in the world in the span of six months, what else would you possibly look forward to for the rest of your life having completed the ultimate list so quickly? hmmm, i suppose there's the birth of a child or two and maybe marriage and whatnot. so i think i'll just take my time enjoying food experiences at a moderate pace instead.

for more info for you rich bastards that can afford this, here's the link  Holidaysplease 3 Michelin Star Holiday. or you can look here as well.

Dan & Tina's wedding weekend!

this weekend i had the honor of attending the wedding of Dan and Tina (my new friends, Chris' friends from college) in beautiful St. Helena. i've only met the happy couple a handful of times but i can easily see that they are the type of people i want to hang around with. they're easy going, fun and don't take life too seriously. and judging by the festivities that preceded and followed their big day, they're all about good eats. and we all know that my life practically revolves around scrumptiousness so we're on the same page in that regard. their wedding was beautiful, relaxed and delicious.

 the day before the wedding a bunch of us had lunch at addendum for fried chicken goodness.

then went sparkling wine tasting at Domain Chandon

 rehearsal dinner at Pizzeria Tra Vigne 

Chris was a groomsman so i was invited to partake in the rehearsal dinner. pizza and new friends? i opt for 'yes please!'

the groomsmen with their awesome name engraved decanters.

Phil, Dan (man of the weekend), Ben, Chris, Brian

found a chinese guy to hang out with. 

my coworkers saw this picture and thought i wore white to a wedding. no, assholes! i may be a little crass here and there but i know the rules, mmmkay? i would never wear white to a wedding! rude! 

Betzy, my weekend buddy

we shared a room with Betzy and Brian for the weekend. both of our boyfriends were a part of the wedding so while they got ready and had lunch with the fellas, we spent the day having lunch in town and getting ready ourselves. she was also my date for the ceremony portion. what a pretty doctor she is, huh!?!

the best "guestbook" ever. 

the typical and literal guest book is a thing of the past. i've seen thumbprint trees and trees with hanging ornaments, among other versions of well wishes and congratulations for the bride and groom. this is one of the more inventive and awesome ones i've seen, especially because it highlights California, which we all know is the best state of all time (yep, i live in that bubble)!

checkin' out his gorgeous bride

alas we see the beautiful bride!

my guy

now checkin out his official wife!

paparazzi entrance for these two. 

Dan, in the moment he mastered the Vietnamese language. i can't remember what he said to Tina's parents but it was pretty impressive and definitely unexpected. 

told you they appreciate food! short ribs, heirloom tomato caprese salad and tiramisu for dinner. best wedding food i've had to date. 

cheers!

oh, lemme get that cake off your face. 

tequila and lime shooters with  the newlyweds

please excuse my t-rex arm. 

i thought he was my Chinese but i guess he had his eyes on someone else. 

fun! though i'm pretty sure traditionally the groom carries the bride. 

Cuban cigars for the groom/smen. the last hurrah before we left the weekend festivities behind. 

Dan and Tina: fun times, friends! i hope that i'll be able to see you two more often and get to really know you guys well. any time you're in or around the Bay Area, let me know and we can grub on something spectacular (we don't need Chris either. i can get down on some deliciousness any time)! i hope you two are enjoying your European excursion and eat as many croissants and as much foie gras your tummies can handle. not to mention pastas and pizza! thank you for inviting me to your wedding and congratulations! 

in place of fireworks...

this 4th of July was spent sans fireworks. i didn't see one spark in the sky that night, live or on tv. but just because the night wasn't filled with color and awe doesn't mean my morning couldn't fulfill that. these are the amazing sights i saw between the hours of 6am and 8am. beeeeeauuuutiful!!

6:00am from the top of my street in South City

6:24am on the Embarcadero

i had to stop and take pictures. the sun was in the perfect spot for a pretty Bay Bridge photo. how could anybody drive by this and not stop for a few minutes to take it all in? 

 i <3 p="" sf="">

8am in San Bruno

what a pretty morning! 

Beyonce concert

i've never had the desire to attend a Beyonce concert but Maria asked if i wanted to join her and i couldn't see a reason not to. she's a great role model for girls everywhere so why not support someone who has proven to be an amazing example for teens (and even grownups) to look up to? she's hard working, classy, beautiful, private, kind and philanthropic. oh, and then there's the fact that she's got a ton of hit songs and can equally dance and sing at the same time with an aggressive amount of passion. i've got to say, 'twas a very entertaining show to experience. her fans are clearly dedicated to her and for good reason. she's one hell of an entertainer!