unsolicited baby advice #1

so i've heard from every single mom-friend that once you're pregnant you are going to receive endless amounts of unsolicited pregnancy and baby advice. i've barely told the world about this condition of mine and lo and behold it's already happening. i thought this might be a good place to share the newfound "knowledge" i pick up from people here and there and also voice whether i think what they have to say is valid or a piece of shit.

first up to bat: i'll start with my grandma. when we told her we were pregnant she (in chinese) said "i'm so happy don't eat pineapple and mango" in one quick breath. like, whoa..how did you even get over the excitement of a fifth great grandchild and jump to advice so soon? she's like a thought process wizard. i asked what the reasoning behind it was because my fruit of choice lately has been pineapple so i need to weigh my choices here. she said that pineapple and mango cause early birth. oh. really? not that i did any research or anything but i'm pretty sure it's like "turkey makes you sleepy" in that i'd probably have to eat like seven hundred pineapples in a day and a half to push this baby out early. and even if i ate seven hundred in a sitting, it'd probably exit because my abdomen would be so full that the kid has nowhere to go but out.

verdict: bullshit, grandma. but you can tell me whatever you want as often as you want because i value that you want to share life experiences and advice with me.