my birthday

my birthday is on december 27th. i'm not huge on celebrating my birthday considering i have to compete with the lord. but sometimes i let people take me out anyway. because i love them and because i know they just want me to experience my birthday rather than it just getting lost in the holiday mix. this year my cousin Eva took me to Crown and Crumpet. think tea and little sandwiches while surrounded by a bunch of kitschy stuff and a whole lot of pink. 

after tea we went to see The Muppet Movie which was nothing short of amazing. writer Jason Segal (of How I Met Your Mother fame) is a genius!! it was funny in a corny awesome way. 

after the movie Eva went to cook her boyfriend dinner. my Special Friend wanted to take me to dinner but i knew she wouldn't be ready until past 7pm.  having only ate little sandwiches and scones for the day, i was hungry around 5pm. already in the city, i decided on a whim to head to Prospect for dinner. i've had the brunch there but have been dying to go for dinner. i figured i would treat myself. i truly am not bothered by eating solo, so it was a no brainer to go. 

throughout the meal, i could tell some of the wait staff was curious as to why a young woman might be eating dinner by herself at a restaurant such as Prospect. i mean it's not as if i were at a Denny's or something, so i can understand their curiosity. after i'd eaten my entree and had just ordered dessert:

server: soo what brings you into Prospect this evening?

me: uhhh....this is going to sound like a sob story, but i promise it isn't. it's my birthday, and i was hungry and wanted to have a nice meal. but i didn't want anybody to feel obligated to pay for me because i wanted it all (as in three courses). so i came by myself. 

server: hmmm ....that kiiiiiinda sounds like a sob story.

me: no, i promise. it isn't. 

server: you should really be with your friends today

me: well i was before, and i'm going to be after. but right now, i'm having a good dinner.

server: not convinced oookay

so he brings my dessert over and it has a candle lit on the plate. now he's advertised to the whole restaurant that it was my birthday. awkward and unawesome. i say "thanks" and blow out the candle asap. i know he was trying to do a nice thing, but c'mon now! i wasn't trying to call attention to the fact that it was the anniversary of the day of my being. though he comped the dessert, which was a pleasant surprise. but seriously, i have no qualms about eating by myself. i don't feel like it's something only lonely people do. i feel like it's something confident people do. and on that particular day, i truly just didn't want anybody to feel obligated to pay for me.

the food:

foie gras torchon. this was really perfect. i could have done with a lot more toast though.

petrale sole with brussel sprouts and a sunchoke puree, topped with some sort of nut mixture, atop a bed of wild black rice. this dish was everything i wanted it to be. it had the perfect discrepancy in textures and no one item was overpowering in flavor. 

this chocolate cake was overly rich for me. a decent dessert, but nothing special. as you can see i cropped out the lone, already blown out, candle. 

after dinner i went to a bar to hang out with some friends/coworkers. Tan, Natasha, Kris, Nick and Muri were in attendance but i failed to get pictures with Nick and Muri. 

Special Friend (Kris), Tan and i

myself and Natasha

the eulogy

my yeh-yeh standing in front of his restaurant, King Tin, in Chinatown which he opened decades ago. i remember frequently visiting him there and thinking he was extra awesome for owning his own restaurant. plus look at the way he stands, all happy and badass! i love this picture of him.

years down the line, i am positive that i'm going to want to remember what i said at my grandfather's funeral. nervous, with hands shaking, i read the eulogy. i was afraid my lip was going to quiver like Elvis', much like it always had any time i had to speak publicly. but this time that didn't happen. instead, at some point, with tear filled eyes,  i threw my hands up and proclaimed that i couldn't even read the words anymore because everything was blurred. but eventually the collection of tears dropped and fell upon the page and i could make out the rest of the words well enough to finish. and this is what i said for my grandpa:

i always knew i had a cool grandpa. he was often dressed in a blazer, a hat and sunglasses. his clothes always matched and he walked through every door with confidence. whenever we'd enter any chinese restaurant, immediately somebody would recognize him and greet him. it seems we never had to wait more than five minutes for a table because EVERY time we ate out more than likely the matre'd or a chef was his friend. and once we were sat, someone dining at the restaurant would see him and come to chat for a moment. to me it seemed my grandpa was popular. he was always cool, calm, collected and respected. and i don't think anybody can argue the fact that yeh-yeh was a generous man as well. whenever we went out for dim sum he would always order extra dishes to take to his friends for their mah jong games. and it was evident to me that he almost always paid for dinner when dining with friends. he treated everybody equally. during Chinese New Year, it didn't matter whether you cooked him dinner or just smiled at him. you instantly got a red envelope. he was always considerate and thoughtful towards the people he loved. once he heard that i liked jelly fish, jelly fish would appear at every dinner.  he made sure that if there was an extra bowl of shark fin soup, i would get it because it was my favorite. sometimes he would joke and tell my brother that he should take his grandpa out for dim sum or pay for dinner that night. he was only trying to instill good values in his grandson and make sure that we knew to respect and value our elders. he always cracked jokes and had a way about him that made everybody like him. 

years ago during a family function yeh-yeh had to go to the emergency room and for the first time in my life i saw the hint of tears in my dad's eyes. in that moment i realized that there was a bond between the two of them that i'd never noticed. then every time i saw the two of them together i started to see the similarities between them. their generosity, their humor, their ability to always seem calm and easy going. my mom has always said that i am very much like my dad and if that's true, then i must also be very much like my yeh-yeh. and if i'm anything like my yeh-yeh then i feel honored. he was a man who surrounded himself with friends and family and valued anybody who crossed paths with him. he's always tried to instill good family values in myself, my brother and my cousins. for years i've watched my mom, dad, aunts and uncles take their dad out to dinner or dim sum every sunday not because they had to but because they wanted to. he built a family who respected him. before his health began depleting, he always had a smile on. but more than anything, he was always a truly genuine person. 

unfortunately our time with him has ended but our memories are forever. a few weeks ago he had said that he was ready to be with grandma. before she had passed, they were inseparable so i am sure that he is happy to reunite with her. may they rest in peace together. 

this is the last picture i have with my grandpa. it was taken at his last birthday dinner. i'm not sure what he's doing with his hand there. but like i said in the eulogy....hat. sunglasses. blazer. smile. sharp as ever!

2011

dear regina,

2011 was an interesting year, wouldn't you say? as you sit and ponder everything that was 2011, you'll quickly realize that you have no idea what happened in your 27th year of life because you've never been good at remembering dates for things. in fact, every time you retell a childhood story you always say that you were "somewhere between the ages of 8 and 10" because you truly have no idea when the story actually happened. and any more recent story instantly becomes "a couple of years ago." anyway, your 27th year has been the biggest of your life thus far and i'm going to remind you of it in all it's glory.

2011 started off really well. all things were looking up and nothing could stop you!

it was the year of seconds. you completed your second 100 mile bike ride through Marin and Sonoma. that was a bitch, remember? you probably don't want to do that for a third time in 2012. but knowing you, you just might just to say that you did. you surprised yourself when you easily ran your second half marathon without training very much. you felt awesome that day! oh! and you can't forget Thailand for the second time! that was one of the best trips you've ever taken and hopefully have ever taken. that time when the elephant guide sang In The Jungle to you! that panang curry! oh and that roti! ooohh the roti! the best massages of your life! seriously $7 for two hours? the culture! the trannies that looked better than you ever will! the bluest water you've ever seen! that time you got stuck on a boat in the pouring rain! that craaaaaazy bike ride through the streets and alley ways of Bangkok! aren't you amazed you survived that one? (Thailand part: I, II, III, IV, V)

it was a year of new skills. remember all that stress you went through when you trained for CT? you've always been the type to feel as though you don't know anything at all unless you are sure you've got the ability to execute something with at least 85% confidence. plus, you just don't like looking stupid and getting yelled at. you never knew stress until you went through CT training. you finally realized why people make use of happy hour. at work, usually all of the hours are happy hours because you like  your coworkers and your job. BUT while you were in CT training, none of those hours were particularly awesome. man, were those some stressful days, or what? you baked a lot during that time. it calms you. but look at where you are now! you're a CT tech! you already felt like you were helping others as an x-ray tech, but now you feel like you're doing even more for the world! cheers to having a meaningful job where everyday you feel like you've affected somebody's life in a positive way!

oh, you know what else you did that is pretty awesome? you helped Jess raise $400 for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society via your baked goods! you and Kim did yourselves proud. plus you spent a beautiful sunny day at your favorite park with some of your best friends. seriously, that had to be one of the best days of 2011.

remember one of the most memorable meals of your life? y'know.....Flag Day 2011 at Cyrus? man was that an epic meal! and your company was fun too! i hope that crazy good eats are still prevalent in your life. i know you've been cooking more, but every so often you've got to treat yourself to some true food art. you and Helen are still doing the Flag Day thing, aren't you?

this year you went from being a semi-adult to a real adult. i mean, you got your first checkbook and started actually putting those checks to use soooo that qualifies as adult actions, right? there's something else you did in your 27th year that was pretty important too, wasn't there? hmm...what was it? oh yeah! YOU BOUGHT A HOUSE!!! thus far, it's pretty much the greatest accomplishment you've achieved ever. well that, and breaking six, which was inevitable. you went through so. much. paperwork. and grew to understand what real stress is like. buying a house is no joke. it caused so much anxiety that you said you were going to live in this house forever so as not to have to go through the stresses of purchasing property again. but i'm sure that's a lie. you'll want another property eventually. but let's say it again! YOU. yes YOU! bought a friggin house at the age of 27!! not with a dual income. by yourself!! you rock for that! of course you've got to thank your parents for leading you in the right direction to make beneficial choices like that. but at the end of the day you're the one making those mortgage payments. at 27. i believe that makes you a certifiable true adult. it won't be your last accomplishment though. no way.

your 27th year was looking good. nothing but ups happened. but december was humbling. december showed you that you can't always stay high. you've got to hit some lows to bring you back down and make you appreciate the good times. in december you decided to end a relationship with someone who you loved and cared deeply for. it was very adult for the two of you to come to the decision you did and you're overall glad that you can still call him a friend. i hope that you are still friends in the truest form. it wasn't easy and especially through the holidays, it was difficult not to share them together. but again, you guys made the right choice. cheers to friendship.

somehow the saying "when it rains it pours" seems to be pretty accurate in your life. this isn't the first time multiple things have come apart all at once. i think it's the universe showing you that you're strong and can handle a lot. december is also when you lost your yeh-yeh. his health was already depleting throughout the year but you thought he had another year in him. you saw your parents and your aunt and uncle by his side every weekend. you hoped that he wasn't ready to leave this earth. but once you heard that he heard grandma asking him to join her, he had made up his mind. he lived a full life, fathering six children who have given him plenty of grandchildren. he even lived to be a great grandfather to two boys. remember how he always used to be the sharpest dressed grandpa in the room? he wore kangols and aviator sunglasses before they were cool. every time you walked into a chinese restaurant someone from the restaurant knew him. and at dessert your table didn't just have the red bean soup.  when dessert rolled around there were seven different assortments brought out because everybody loves your yeh-yeh. he was generous towards everybody and always had a big smile on his face. it's too bad that he had to go, but alas, he's in a better place now with grandma.

the end of 2011 was a confusing time. holiday season is supposed to be full of friends and family, laughter and joy. this holiday season had all of those elements, but tossed in was some pain and a lot of crying. it's a good thing you've got a strong family foundation and friends that you will never lose. at the end of the day, could you ask for anything more?

2012 is on it's way and it should be a good one! make time to travel. maybe you can cross something off of your list! Australia perhaps. please enjoy the house you've earned and decorate the hell out of it. maintain your friendships. you know every single one of those people are more than awesome! make new friends! and continue to love your job! eat delicious things and spend more time with your awesome family! 2012, here i come!

love,
Reg