Thursday, June 6, 2013

rants from an x-ray tech part II

to: patient
from: regina

--how come it takes you seven hours to take your jeans off and put a gown on? i mean, are you wearing button flys? on that note, whyyyyyy do people ever wear button fly pants? they're so inefficient. anyhow, if you would just learn to take your pants on/off faster, you would be saving so much time in your every day life, y'know. you'd have more time for random things. things such as not be in a radiology changing room for seven hours.

--so while positioning you, i move you forward with my hands just a little bit (like an inch), say "hold really still" and let go. you tend to sway back all out of place and then i have to do it again. we play this game for about three rounds before you get that "hold still" means to indeed hold still. during this time the words "why must you defy me" play in my mind over and over until finally we've come to the agreement that you are going to actually hold still this time.

--this interaction has occurred too many times in my short (so far) career as an x-ray tech.

me: hi! i'm Regina, i'll be taking your x-rays.
patient: hi! i'm, [insert name] i'll be your patient today. hahaha!!!

i can't imagine how many more times i'm going to hear this. or how many times you've already said this to your nurse, dentist, doctor, physical therapist, etc. aren't you tired of saying it? we're i'm tired of hearing it. sure, it was sort of cute the first time someone said it but how often do you think it's going to be the first time hearing it for the person you're saying it to? slim to none i'll bet.

--i'm sorry if when i read your name, George Blah Blah Blah, i pronounced it j-or-j blah blah blah like the normal way most people say that name. it's not really my fault that you spell your name the typical way but like it to be pronounced j-or-jay. when in a condescending tone as if i'm stupid because i can't read or something, you say "you said that wrong, it's actually j-or-jay blah blah blah," i pretty much want nothing more than to say to you "you know we're never going to meet again in life, right? there will never ever be a time when i'm going to see you and be like 'oh, hey j-or-jay, remember when i used to call you j-or-j? boy, was i stupid for thinking your name was ordinary.'"

also, to the person who has more than three consecutive consonants in your last name, your name is barely readable so don't be mad at me when i say it wrong mmmkay? who in your history decided to throw a bunch of random letters together?

to hear me be a complaining brat just a little bit more, click here:
rants from an x-ray tech part I

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