Thursday, July 18, 2013

"she's too pretty to be my friend"

sitting and snacking on coconut passion fruit cake (yep, i snack on cake. so what. my internal fat kid never takes a day off.) in the close quarters of Tartine's tables, i overheard the girl at the table next to me say "she's too pretty to be my friend." now, i don't know what context she said this in because while i had somewhat eavesdropped, i wasn't intently listening to the people surrounding me's conversations. but this statement sounded louder than the rest likely because of it's content.

i would like to think that people have friends because they provide the following things: intense bouts of laughter, a back bone of support, a shoulder for crying times, a listening ear for anything you feel the need to say, goofy times, inspiration, advice, playful banter, etc. i've never sought friendship based on whether or not someone was attractive and i would never deny friendship because someone's appearance is less than average. i don't think that the way someone looks has anything to do with whether or not you could make good friends. so long as your personalities get along and you have some things in common to keep interest alive, there's a recipe for a friendship. the saying "you are known by the company you keep" is more based on morals, values and mindset, not about the way you look. though to be fair, often times you see a group of friends and that have similar fashion sense or do their makeup in a similar way. even so, the similarities are based on interest in the same clothing or winged eyeliner, not each person's inherent beauty.

when i heard this girl say "she's too pretty to be my friend" it made me feel sort of sad and almost made me pity her. those seven words imply that she thinks cannot have friends who are of a high threshold of attractiveness compared to her own mark on the attractiveness charts. in that very short statement she basically said that all of her other traits and attributes weren't good enough for someone who is overly pretty. maybe she's funny or smart or charismatic or just an all around good person, but no, she's not pretty so she can't make a good friend, right? wrong. poor girl doesn't know her own worth. and how about the friend she was sitting with? if she abides by this i-can-only-have-friends-who-are-the-same-amount-of-attractiveness rule then she clearly thinks her friend is of her same attractiveness level. if that's the case and she's not very confident in her own beauty, isn't she inadvertently saying that her friend, too, doesn't rank that high on the attractive meter, therefore cannot be friends with whoever this said "too pretty" person is?

there are far more important reasons to be someone's friend and none of them have to do with how beautiful someone is. nobody is ever too pretty to be your friend. and if someone ever thinks they're too pretty to be your friend then that just means they're internally ugly.

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