Thursday, January 9, 2014

best big sis

one day my mom called me up specifically to tell me "hey you know when you were little you were an F.O.B. i mean you really spoke chinese and talked like one. you even sang like one." and yes, she sounded out "eff oh be" phonetically, spoken like a true fob (even though she came here when she was seven). she'd been watching old videos from our (brother Jerome, who's real name is Jeremy but i like calling him that for no reason whatsoever) childhood to find good footage for Jerome's wedding. i replied with a "yes, i knooow. chinese is all i spoke supposedly for the first few years of don't remember? then preschool happened and all of a sudden chinese was a thing of the past?"

less than a week later i get a message on my phone from my brother with a few video clips on them and a text saying "c'mon! mom even switched camera angles!" at this point excitement ensued because i knew that with a response like that it couldn't be anything short of hysterical.

but before i let you into a vision of my past, let me preface these videos.....

once upon a time after 10 1/2 months of glorious solitude my brother was born and rained on my awesome parade. i'm going to guess that from that moment on i had revenge on my mind and it came in the form of physically demolishing him. can you blame me? he prematurely cut The Regina Show off and entered the world all adorable and annoying. i don't actually recall any of these occurrences but i'm so very happy that they've been recorded because they've provided a ton of laughter for me. i can't say that Jerome is too fond of them but he'll survive. if anything you can consider it an act of character building at it's best.

my favorite part of this video isn't that my mom is very verrrrry lightly saying "regina don't push your brother" or "say sorry to you brother," or even that she got up to switch camera angles for a better shot. my favorite part is what a raging bitch i was pointing that finger up in the air angrily saying whatever it is i was feeling (so far nobody who speaks cantonese can tell me what it is i actually was huffing and puffing about). my mom was right. i was a total assholish F.O.B.

bonus footage! guitar slams on Jerome's dome! it's no wonder why we were never really close when we were younger. probably because he's a thunder stealer. good thing he turned out to be mildly way awesome as an adult.

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