Monday, June 4, 2012

Red Door Cafe- my new favorite brunch spot!

can i just say that i am incredibly excited to tell you about Red Door Cafe? i had THE best brunch experience ever here. i waited in line for nearly two hours and had the best time during those two hours. it was sort of magical how quickly time flew by. if only Disneyland's lines could be so entertaining.

Red Door Cafe is a tiny little place. it literally seats maybe ten people, so the line is long. be prepared to wait for over an hour. oh, and don't come with more than one other person. they do NOT seat parties larger than two.

they've got a list of rules that are a friggin sarcastic legit riot. check them out below. but if you ever find yourself at Red Door and the guy in the wig asks if you've read the rules do NOT say "i've already read it online/yelp." this is offensive to him and he will promptly ask you to leave. in fact, i heard him talking about someone who wouldn't read the rules because she'd already read them online and he said "she's such a bitch. she's not gettin her p*ssy licked here, she needs to go somewhere else for that." aaaaahhahaha!!

if you "pass the rules" by being awesome and not a snobby asshole, they give you a creepy doll to hold until it's time for you to sit. mine was named Jessica Who Gives Blow Jobs Half Assed.

because the line is long they offer a bite while you long as you've passed the rules already. 

the owner/guy in the wig is seriously one of the most funny, sarcastic, positive people i've ever met. while you're in line he comes to talk to people and keep them entertained. it's really hard to write a description that would allow you to grasp how entertaining this guy is but he is awesome.

i also got a mocha while in line.

these guys went to Red Door the day prior and had such a fun time they came back (as they promised dude-in-wig) to entertain. they took their shirts off and sang for everybody in line. they played along with dude-in-wig and let him get all over them and whatnot, and they're totally straight. i know because i asked them. they said they just like having a good time. good for them! i love people who can be that open minded.

the inside of Red Door is filled with the creepiest dolls you've ever seen, along with ring-toss-peni (the plural form of penis?) games on each table.

oh, and this is Maria. i knew taking her to this place was going to be perfect because she likes random stuff. and flamboyant entertainment is also always a plus in her book.

"Park Your Wife and Taste My Salmon"
smoked salmon, arugula, fried eggs on batard.

french toast Josephine

"Two Titties" with nipples 
essentially two soft tacos with bacon, cheese, tomato, cilantro, lime and eggs

awesome! this guy makes the experience amazing. i had so SO much fun hanging out here.

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